October Baby

This week has been about babies. Saving them and losing them.

I spent the greater part of this week at a conference in Los Angeles learning better ways to serve women facing unplanned pregnancies. I learned more about God's heart toward adoption. I learned more about helping women heal after abortion. I came away from that week with a renewed sense of hope that God can equip those called to this work. I came away with a knowing that I can't do this work by myself. I came away with a deeper dependence on His promise to lead me in the way I should go.

Then today. Today was a reminder of the loss of a baby. Of many babies.

Tonight my kids went to a birthday party and my Dad agreed to take them so Terry and I could go on a much needed date night. We spent part of that date night seeing October Baby. If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil it. I will only say, "Go see it." And bring your Kleenex. Lots of them. Bring some for the woman who will sit in front of you and wish she had brought Kleenex.

This movie reminded me of a loss that I had 17 years ago. It reminded me of my son that was lost to abortion. I won't lie and say it was easy to watch. It wasn't. It took everything I had not to scream at the screen and cry my ugly cry.

But this movie was good too. It also reminded me that I am forgiven. It reminded me that my Lord can take what I meant for evil and use it for good. And He has. Somehow He has.

The ride home was a quiet one. Lots of thoughts of "What if..." going through my head. But then I remember that I don't need to "what if..." because I know. I know that I have been given a grace and forgiveness that I don't deserve. I know that my Lord has been able to use this broken sinner and mold me into a vessel that can be used.

And for that I am grateful. Eternally grateful.

~Threesa